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This week I’ve been very good. Of course, its only Tuesday so I may be getting ahead of myself. Both today and Monday I worked at stupid Pepsi at 8am. Normally I would roll out of bed around 7:10, brush my teeth, stab my contacts into my eyes, and yank on something business casual in time to leave by 7:35. These past two days I’ve gotten out of bed at 6 (ish), showered, had a whole pot of coffee rather than grabbing a cup at a drive through, all while watching The West Wing and checking email.
Now I’m bursting with energy and a will to get things done. I have a to-do list burning a hole in my brain, but I’m stuck at stupid Pepsi wasting my ambition and waxing melodramatic about all of the things I could be doing that aren’t selling soda on the phone. This is most likely false ambition fueled by coffee meaning I’m closing in very quickly on a crash. I may try to shine it on with some more coffee from the scary machine in the breakroom, but even in my current mania I know that’s just an empty gesture.
I have a paper star festooned with streamers hanging above my desk that sometimes hits me in the face as I sit down in my chair on particularly sleepy mornings. One side has the Pepsi logo on it and the other side has the quote “Some people are born great, others achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon ’em.” I’m pretty sure, it has been a while so I’m not positive, when Shakespeare wrote that he spelled out the word “them.” Also, I have this star hanging above desk because my Quality Assurance score is over 101% really dont associate that with greatness.
Maybe I’m yearning for a more idealistic, simpler time that never existed or didn’t exist in my lifetimebut remember when the word great meant something? When you’d read about people in history who’d done amazing things, get a little chill, and think “someday I’m going to be great.” Great capital G, boldface, underlined and in a slightly larger font.
Sitting in my cubicle, I do not feel great even though I have been pronounced it. Of course, all I have to do to have greatness abruptly yanked from my life is to start sucking at my job, but I won’t do that cause I’m great.
What I Love:
Yellow Legal Pads: They’re pristine and crisp and less intimidating than white paper
Plastic Surgery Shows: I love watching people get cut up, and seeing the before and after. I also love the shows where people lose a lot of weight
Running: Especially when I get to the point where my feet ache and my legs are numb, but I dont want to stop
A good book, and a book so bad its good
Making bullshit lists while getting paid to be at stupid Pepsi
When people surprise you and do genuinely nice things for no reason
The freckles on my shoulders: getting these was worth the horrific sunburn
Fall: I love the way it smells, I love wearing jackets
Realizing that I actually like someone I previously hated
People who are witty and clever, but not smug about it
Feeling completely overwhelmed, but then systematically getting everything done
Paying bills and having money left over to save
Standing at the stove and eating with a big wooden spoon right out of the pot
Things I hate:
Cake: Not the band, I’m sick of being made to feel like eating cake is such a treat. It isn’t good; it tastes like fluffy sugar
Romantic comedies: especially the ones where a down-on-his-luck guy meets a girl who’s just crazy! and free spirited! and she changes his life!
Buying gas: I feel like I do it all the time, but I never have a full tank
People who speak very slowly and say nothing, but won’t let you interrupt. People who use far too many words to convey a very simple thought
People who talk on their phones in public restrooms
the word “restroom”
The way my mother dresses: Whats the point of ageing well if you dress 15 years older than you look?
Not the Beatles themselves, but the fact that ever saying anything negative about their music elicits a firestorm of “whys” and “how could yous” and “you haven’t given them a chance” People are more tolerant of my atheism than they are of the fact that I do not like the Beatles
When people look at me like I’ve said something crazy/inappropriate and I haven’t–at all
Fad diets/diet books and the people who seek out quick and easy fixes, then place blame when it doesn’t work
When people tell me I can’t (am incapable) of doing something. Especially if it’s something I don’t actually want to do and then I feel compelled to prove them wrong