This week I’ve been very good. Of course, its only Tuesday so I may be getting ahead of myself. Both today and Monday I worked at stupid Pepsi at 8am. Normally I would roll out of bed around 7:10, brush my teeth, stab my contacts into my eyes, and yank on something business casual in time to leave by 7:35. These past two days I’ve gotten out of bed at 6 (ish), showered, had a whole pot of coffee rather than grabbing a cup at a drive through, all while watching The West Wing and checking email.

Now I’m bursting with energy and a will to get things done. I have a to-do list burning a hole in my brain, but I’m stuck at stupid Pepsi wasting my ambition and waxing melodramatic about all of the things I could be doing that aren’t selling soda on the phone. This is most likely false ambition fueled by coffee meaning I’m closing in very quickly on a crash. I may try to shine it on with some more coffee from the scary machine in the breakroom, but even in my current mania I know that’s just an empty gesture.

I have a paper star festooned with streamers hanging above my desk that sometimes hits me in the face as I sit down in my chair on particularly sleepy mornings. One side has the Pepsi logo on it and the other side has the quote “Some people are born great, others achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon ’em.” I’m pretty sure, it has been a while so I’m not positive, when Shakespeare wrote that he spelled out the word “them.” Also, I have this star hanging above desk because my Quality Assurance score is over 101% really dont associate that with greatness.

Maybe I’m yearning for a more idealistic, simpler time that never existed or didn’t exist in my lifetimebut remember when the word great meant something? When you’d read about people in history who’d done amazing things, get a little chill, and think “someday I’m going to be great.” Great capital G, boldface, underlined and in a slightly larger font.

Sitting in my cubicle, I do not feel great even though I have been pronounced it. Of course, all I have to do to have greatness abruptly yanked from my life is to start sucking at my job, but I won’t do that cause I’m great.

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