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Mini-conversation with boss at fancy membership library:

Boss: This poster isn’t going to stand up well by itself on this poster stand.

Me: Maybe we should put something behind it, like a ruler?

Boss: Good idea, but I don’t have one.

Me: There’s one on this desk (picks up ruler and brandishes it triumphantly)

Boss: Maybe grab that other one, this one is an antique.

Little Brother on why the newest Batman is the best:

“One of the biggest problems with the old Batman was the fact that he couldn’t move his head without moving his whole body since the head on the outfit was attached to his shoulders. He was like an owl, no wait, he was the opposite of an owl. Completely un-owl-like.”

Thank-you, Jewish Friend:

Me: So I’m doing this genealogical research or something for this chick, any suggestions on how to get started?

Jewish Friend: Well, my advice is that you should have taken reference already.

My favorite placard at the New Bedford Whaling Museum:

“Lofvers was the Immanuel Kant of Dutch Whaling Art– a theoretician, who lived in a provincial town, and never traveled far from home. He never saw the sea, but specialized in marine painting.”