I am not a person who is hard to find.  If one of my enemies wanted to put a hit on me, it would be the least challenging sleuthing mission ever since I’m generally in one of two places.  I have to say though, since moving in July, I’ve found that a lot of people are having a hard time finding me, and I’m finding it supremely annoying.

When I moved, I forwarded my mail; updated my address with my credit cards, banks; changed my driver’s license.  In my mind, I did all the stuff you’re supposed to do, and I felt a bit smug at being so responsible.

Now, in the last week or so, I’ve gotten a notice from an attorney (read: debt collector), and a phone call from another debt collector both wondering why I haven’t paid my car tax, and my natural gas bill for my old apartment.  Prior to this, the only time I’ve ever heard the phrase car tax, it applied to the taxes that go along with the sale of a car; and as to the gas bill–I FORWARDED ALL MY DAMN MAIL!  How did this one slip through the cracks when it’s the same company as my electric provider who not only found me in my new place within a week, but also who sent me a vaguely threatening letter saying “give us all your info or we’ll leave you in the dark,” which I was more than happy to do.

I said this to the young man who had the misfortune to call and give me this bit of news, and he just sighed and said, “I don’t know, people ask me that every day.”

Also, when I moved, I left on slightly awkward terms with my landlady, but she still has my email address and phone number.  If my mail was piling up, she could have reached me.  I actually did call her when I was trying to track down my diploma and asked if anything important had been delivered, or if I could stop by and pick up anything.  No response.  She’s probably working from home, up to 300 pounds, and severely depressed, but why take that out on me?

As to the car tax, no one could give me any answers.  I called the number on the letter and spoke courteously to the lady that answered the phone (more flies with honey, etc.) and asked exactly what it was that I owed for.  I could hear her shrugging, “Must nahtve paid yah cah tacks.”  That was no help. How can I be thirty years old, and have owned four vehicles in my life and never have paid a car tax before?  What exactly are they taxing–the fact that I own a car?  I already paid for license, registration, emissions inspection and VIN inspection (biggest joke there is), plus some of the highest insurance in the nation; now there’s a car tax?

I’m half waiting for the state of North Dakota to bill me retroactively for all my unpaid car tax, or for the state on Pennsylvania to get wise and realize that I drove through their state for a whole day two years ago, I must owe them something as well.  Emissions tax? Road wear?  Who knows.

If anyone actually knows what a car tax is, I would love to hear it.

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