novelty diploma_bannerI graduated in May.  I actually graduated–no holds, no more things to complete, no “graduation pending…” I am officially done with the URI GSLIS program.  Except I have no way to prove it.

I did not attend the graduation ceremony, I was actually in Fargo running a half marathon that morning, so I didn’t get my diploma.  So I waited for them to mail it to me.  I’m still waiting.

Since it usually took 4 months or more to get my diplomas from MSUM, I wasn’t really too concerned about the delay.  That is, until Jewish Friend told me that she got hers at the beginning of July.

Somehow, the delivery of my diploma directly coincided with my move, and I still don’t have the damn thing.  Upon inspecting Jewish Friend’s, I realize that it’s actually far too big to fit in the mail slot of my old house, so that means that either the mailman left it outside and it was stolen, or the post office sent it back to URI.  I called former landlady and left a very polite message asking if it was delivered, and got no response.  She hasn’t changed.

I called URI and explained my problem to them–they told me to call the post office. “It’s so big, they’re bound to notice it.” the woman assured me.  Because the post office never sees 8 1/2 x 11″ envelopes come through its doors.  So that phone call was unhelpful, and when I tried to ask over and over if there was any way to check and see if it was sent back to URI, she kept interrupting me with more details of how the post office works.

According to a friend who used to have a quasi-lucrative business selling books over the internet: URI is responsible for getting me my diploma- that falls on the sender, that’s why there’s delivery confirmation insurance; if my landlady is withholding my diploma through her own laziness–that’s mail fraud; if my old neighbors stole it, they can display it right next to my business cards and whatever else they’ve hoarded over the years since they don’t care about committing felonies.

I just wonder how much yelling I’m going to have to do to acquire something that I paid a lot of money for, that I already worked very hard for, and that is useless to anyone but me.  At least it’s not like it used to be where librarians actually have to carry their diplomas to job interviews to prove qualifications–that would but a serious delay on this whole “getting my life started plan.”

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