My father called to sort out the logistics of my upcoming visit. Because I’m flying into Minneapolis and then driving to Fargo, I’m not going to also drive to Bemidji (where they live, about 90 minutes away from Fargo). From my perspective, I’m mostly going back to Fargo to see my friends. Considering all of the intense time I’ve spent with my parents (15 days non-stop) over the past year, I think this is perfectly reasonable. Plus, whenever I do go to their house, we just sit there watching HGTV, which I just don’t enjoy as much as they do.
I thought having them come to Fargo for marathon weekend made much more sense. I’m running the 1/2, my dad usually runs the full, my mom and brother did the 5k two years ago– fun for the whole family! Now it seems that my father will not be running the full marathon, but the 1/2, “I’ll be running right next to you, Annie.” he told me.
I don’t want to sound like a total brat, but that is not ok with me. I’ve never run with another human being (except next to strangers), and I really have no interest in taking that on. I’m not a chatty runner; I clap on my headphones, get in the zone, and proceed to sweat and huff and turn red in the most unattractive way possible. I just want to be left alone.
Then my father asked where I run. “On my treadmill,” I told him, “watching TV”
“Oh, you don’t have any friends to run with?”
By the end of the conversation, I not only felt like a horrible daughter, but also like a friendless nerd who runs only to get away from bullies.
I picked running (or had no choice but to pick running, since it seems to be in my DNA), because it’s a solitary activity. I don’t need to form a team of varied skill, or do any kind of administration, or worry about letting anyone else down– it’s all me. Now it’s getting all mucked up because I keep choosing to run in from of people.
Part of me thinks I should have kept my jock tendencies a secret like I used to, but, too late for that now. Plus, for some reason, I’m excited to get this free t-shirt…
It will be fine. The thought of spending timewith my parents is often much more stressful than the actual act– keep reminding myself that. Also, free food.