The new design scheme at Stupid Pepsi is nautical, for some reason. If your QA is above 105%, you get a paper fish with the words 105+ club taped to the side hanging over your desk; for more than 20 calls per hour, you get a paper circle with two giant plastic bobbers hanging from it that says 20+ club. I have one of those signs hanging over my desk because I’m awesome speedy, but since I do not upsell I lack the matching fish. Instead I have the same old star with streamers and the quote about greatness that I’ve had for months. The two don’t really go together, and the fish doesn’t have any lame quotes about greatness on it, so I really don’t get it.
The whole need for a decorative scheme at all baffles me. We have to dress like adults for work, but management insist on decorating the place like an elementary school, and rewarding us with junk food. I’m not upset that I don’t have a fish to go with my bobbers, I’m not going to work harder so that the stuff above my desk matches. If anything, I’d kind of like to get rid of this crap because everytime I get up I have to limbo walk so it doesn’t hit me in the face. The streamers don’t hurt, though they tend to stick to my lip gloss, but the bobbers are really problematic. Is this any way to make people take this job seriously? Am I just an old crab (nautical) who doesn’t appreciate a brightly colored paper fish, or is it just incredibly stupid of people to pretend this job doesn’t suck because they reward us in “fun” ways. What do fish and fishing accessories have to do with soda? I am not inspired.