I have long harbored the secret dream of being a hairstylist. This is something that I only admitted for the first time about a year ago. My best friends, who I’ve known for 12 years, were shocked to hear this, although my brother said he always suspected. When the time came to make decisions about what to do after High School, I didn’t want to admit that I wanted to be a hairstylist, so I went to college instead. Also, I’ve never had any desire to go to hair school. I’ve always hoped that someone would discover me and apprentice me to Jose Eber or some other important hair person and then I would invent the new “must have” haircut, become famous and retire at 40.

Over the years, it has become apparent that I’m not going to get discovered, certainly not in North Dakota. Also, does anyone really get discovered to be a hairstylist anyway? So I started entertaining the idea of actually going to hair school. I went so far as to tell MK that that was what I planned to do after I finished my Master’s– she was horrified.

The reasons that I haven’t really pursued the hairstyling thing are as follows:

1. not wanting to go the actual hair school
2. not wanting to make the inane banter that you have to do when cutting someone’s hair
3. not wanting to look like a hairstylist.

That third one is fairly new, but I’ve noticed that you can always tell a hairstylist just by looking at her. Their hair is styled so meticulously that half the time it looks like a wig, and they seem to love to do these ridiculous highlights that just look clownish. I have had some silly hair colors, but I don’t think I’ve ever looked as extreme and ridiculous as some women I’ve seen. Yesterday, I was at M&H filling my car with gas, and this girl got out of her car. She was dressed in sloppy sweats, but had her hair completely styled and her face full of make-up. I already have issues with women leaving the house in sweats, but with full make-up and fully styled hair..? What’s that about? If you have enough time to do all of that other stuff, why not just put on some nice jeans? Unless you’re so exhauseted from doing all of the other stuff you just don’t have the energy to dress better. Maybe they think if their make-up and hair is garish enough, no one will notice that they’re dressed like a slob. Seriously.

Really all being a hairstylist would do for me is put me is very close quarters with women who spend a lot of time thinking about their appearance from the neck up, and that would never work for me. So the dream has died, and all it took was seeing some girl at M&H. It would be nice to know how to cut hair though.

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