Yesterday I spoke to a man on the phone named Cum. I had him spell it for me. Customer care for Pepsi Americas dictates that we have to say the customer’s name twice. I tried to say it quickly with my mouth mostly closed so it sounded like cmmm.

I don’t know why stuff like this still surprises me. I’ve had an old man–I believe his name was Earl or something like that– ask me for 20 minutes of hot lovin’; I took an order from a guy named Urine (yoor-een); I’ve had a conversation with two thickly-accented, frantic Indian guys at the same time who got frustrated with me when I didn’t understand them.

Still, a guy named Cum is something you notice.